Just when I was considering putting real money on these predictions, I go 5-9 for Week 6. Humbling moments like these save me money.
Home team in caps:
Chicago (+1.5) over CINCINNATI
The bengal was fierce and ready for battle, but the bear was simply too big and too strong for it. In fact, the bear yawned immediately after victory. He’s kind of a jerk.
Green Bay (-6.5) over CLEVELAND
It’s a no brainer that a factory worker like the Packer would go towards a brownie like a cat to my allergic wife, but the distance he was willing to travel was impressive.
HOUSTON (-2.5) over San Francisco
I changed things up for San Fran by entering “gold digger” and got a great big piece of construction equipment instead. I dropped the Houston steer on it with no result, then dropped the digger onto the steer from a great height. The steer did not take this so well and gored the contruction equipment five times its size in a heartbeat.
KANSAS CITY (+4.5) over San Diego
This matchup was so boring I attacked both mascots with a pike in a fit of rage. The warhorse charger poofed into nothingness while the chief at least left a feather behind. That means something, right?
Minnesota (+3.5) over PITTSBURGH
Instead of “steeler”, I entered “stealer” instead. It conjured a spiny anteater. The Viking wasn’t afraid of the creature, though he quickly gave it up in favor of an axe. Though armed, he chose not to attack the anteater. This tells me Minnesota is more interested in protecting their weapons (Peterson, Favre) than vanquishing foes. It should still be enough to put them on top.
ST. LOUIS (+12.5) over INDIANAPOLIS
I took both the ram and the colt for a ride. The ram was a little bigger and a little quicker.
TAMPA BAY (+14.5) over New England
Upset Special! Despite bringing a sword to a gunfight, the Buccaneer still prevailed over an armed-to-the-teeth Patriot!
Buffalo (+7.5) over CAROLINA
The panther was the provoker of this battle, but the bison held fast. taking two swipes from the big cat before killing it with two blows of his own.
N.Y. Jets (-6.5) over OAKLAND
“Raider” summoned an RC Glider. Why not compare the flights of each? The Jet was big and lumbering, but worked with enough coaxing. I think someone left the batteries out of the RC Glider… I couldn’t get it to move.
DALLAS (-3.5) over Atlanta
I’m not even going to bother how I got to this point, but did you know a Cowboy can take three rounds from a Gattling gun to the chest and live long enough to kick you in the ass a few times? Truly remarkable. Almost as remarkable as the thought that gattling guns in Scribblestan are loaded with only three bullets at a time.
New Orleans (-6.5) over MIAMI
The Saints became “strainer” as in the kitchen utensil. Well, the dolphin could not find any way around it. Small as it may be, that strainer did not make for some dolphin safe tuna.
N.Y. GIANTS (-6.5) over Arizona
Last week’s game at New Orleans exposed some weaknesses of the Giants and that translated over to Scribblenauts. Sure, the Giant swatted down the Cardinal with relative ease, but what does it say that it took him two tries?
Philadelphia (-6.5) over WASHINGTON (+6.5)
I typed in “Redskin” and got “Redside”, a type of fish, instead. The poor guy hardly had a chance to flop around as a fish out of water before being pecked to death by the eagle.
Last Week: 5-9
Overall: 40-34
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